11/13/2010
My name is Brian. I live in New York City. My son, Louis (aka Rui), born and raised here in New York, was taken to and unlawfully retained in Japan by his mother in June, 2010. I am writing and posting this page on the Internet in the hope that our story will be appreciated and felt by others who care, or who may be involved in pressing this issue with the US and Japanese governments and courts. I hope to use this blog to shed light on a very private pain, and to join those who are trying to press the issue of child abduction, particularly as it is commonly practiced in Japan.
The guiding principle of my effort is simple: a child who has two parents that love him needs and deserves to have them both in his life; and both parents who love that child have an unassailable right to express that love and live with him. Senselessly and thoughtlessly stealing a vulnerable, growing boy and removing him from his father is a depraved act that does profound harm to his emotional development, and to the left-behind parent; in this case, that’s me. Child abduction by a parent is predicated on one parent’s self-delusion, on inner callousness, on non-comprehending blindness to the psychological and emotional consequences. Parental abduction is an abuse of the love and trust of a young, helpless and dependent boy that while bonding him ever more strongly to his abductor, will undermine his hope. In my boy’s case, it is already alienating him from the deep love of his Daddy.
The removal of my little boy has also menacingly required the cooperation of the Japanese family and friends who supported his mother in this act. This blog will therefore eventually be devoted in part to somehow contributing to making all those who have aided in this abduction as notorious as they deserve to be.
I never wanted to play this part.
Rui, my sweet little boy, my son, my light, and my soul companion, has been bizarrely taken away.
Suddenly, his toys sit untouched in boxes. His clothes sit in drawers, never warmed by the touch of his body.
Here, his Daddy sits in New York writing this, profoundly aching for him: to make him laugh, to throw the ball and read him poems; to soothe and kiss away his tears; to show him the birds and bugs in the park. To share life with him.
Only bringing him home would bring hope and light back to our lives.
For now, this blog is dedicated with love to my son, Louis (Rui) Samuel Prager – abducted to Japan by his own mother in June 2010.
For Rui Boy 
I see that you’re in pain but using your child as a subject of attention on worldwide website is just wrong. He might not be having the perfect life but it probably wouldn’t help either to know that his father is crying victim everyday!
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Whoever you are, “Johnny Gamble,” you are in no position to make judgments of this kind. My son is not being “used” by being present here on this website, named and created in his honor out of the highest possible love and esteem for him. My son and I are linked, and my messages and his presence here are a means to keep the cause (which is general) and the case (which is particular) both alive.
International child abduction is not only a peculiar form of violence and child abuse; it is also a crime of the State. It is a multifaceted crime with many diverse dimensions, with impact on private lives and public ones. It is a violation of rights, a violation of the promise of citizenship, of the social contract, of legal, political and social order, and in Japan, it is rampant. Child abduction makes a mockery of the resonant and high-sounding principles on which these supposedly rest. It puts you and your family outside of the bounds of the protected in society, those who can be grieved if and when they are lost. It is also a product of a far deeper psycho-cultural contempt for the fragility and personhood of children, and for the singularity of each human subject. If I could put my love for my son on a flag and fly it over the United Nations and project it onto every screen and billboard, worldwide, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it.
The violation of the first and most fundamental law of ethics, if any ethic can be said to be universal, is nearly always interpolated into actions of others by this exact means: that Authority will tell its subjects, every time, that “Now is certainly NOT the time for an outburst of expression of desire; and you should not express it in this way.” This is what the occupier from Alexander to Hitler, has always had to say in so many words as he entered the occupied zone. As far as authority is concerned with desire, it’s message (I take this via Jacques Lacan, btw) is “Make them wait.” So Johnny, you may violate your own ethics; or you may issue judgments about others and decide that what you believe is correct. But we are not all here to serve a master or to be sheep who affirm the Order of Things and the power arrangements of the State. Some of us are forced by our obligations to our children to show love, compassion, and to try to shine a small light into the dark rooms where children and left behind parents live.
Thanks, but I choose to live without heeding your advice.
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Brian,
Your story is sad indeed. I hope you will get some resolution soon to your case. Japan is a very shameful hypocritical country that doesn’t recognize human rights for loving parents.
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Hopefully you will get justice now Japan are going to sign up to the Hague covention Good luck x
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Unfortunately, the Hague Convention is not designed to bring justice, although we all wish with all our hearts and souls that it were. The Hague may be effective in some instances (about 30%) in getting newly kidnapped children returned, but not from Japan. The Japanese have already created legislation that will negate compliance with the Hague Convention, and that will put all past cases out of reach. In Japan, all that a child abductor has to do is fabricate a charge of physical or mental abuse (there are no rules of evidence required, so it does not have to be in any way true; an allegation will suffice, as in my wife’s case), claim that it would be hard for the abductor to make a living in the child’s country of origin (factual or not – my wife earned double my income here in the fashion business), or, the coup de grace, if the abductor might be charged with violating a court order or charged with kidnapping upon returning, then Japan reserves the right to protect the kidnapper. The horror of the crime committed in the US is considered irrelevant to Japanese authorities: they simply start the story of the kidnapping at the point at which the child has been successfully hidden in Japan, out of reach of his family at home. And in the worst injustice with regard to Japan’s relationship with all other governments, the Japanese allow their attorneys to simply say “Japan gets jurisdiction over this case” without regard for the child’s actual country of residence and origin. My son was born and raised in the US, lived his entire life here for 4 1/2 years. I have full legal custody, of which she has been informed. Yet, my wife’s lawyer can walk into a court room in Japan and say, “we have jurisdiction over this American child. We claim the case for Japan, because he is here now.”
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Oh, Brian, I’m so very sorry to hear this. If there’s anything I can do to cheer you up or help your plight, let me know.
Nada
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Brian:
My heart goes out to you. If the right people see this very heartfelt plea, you have hope that your son will be brought back to you. I suggest that this be translated into Japanese and widely posted there. I also suggest that you contact David Goldman whose son Sean was held in Brazil for 4 years. Take care.
Glyn
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Please check out our website. Never give up your fight Brian. Join our discussion group as well….and remember – you are not alone.
Eric
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I just found the ‘comments’ link. As I said, a very eloquent piece. I hope that others read it and offer helpful advice.
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