For Rui Boy

Rui do you know that this is our story? Do you know that you were born and grew up your first years in New York with me and your mother?
Do you know how loved and adored you were by us both?

Do you know how hard it is to know that you have been kidnapped for so long, that you are still missing, and that no one helps us?

Your father is not a ghost of bad dreams! I am the one who first held you, and whose finger you took as you took your first breath of air, sang to you, held you, fed you, cared for you when you were sick, took you to pre-school in my arms, played together with you in the park and at home.

I want so much for you to know what happened – and to know what your true family was and is now, still.

I have watched this collection of clips again all the way through tonight on your 13th birthday. You may not understand this altogether at once; but I have not forgotten us for a single day of my life since you were kidnapped to Japan by the Terauchis, Matsumotos, and their co-conspirators and friends.

It’s so important for you to know that it was not an act of nature nor an act of indifference by your father that has kept us apart for so long. It was the malevolence and crude violence of amoral, child-abusive, mean-spirited, hate-filled-and-motivated people in Japan. Your family here, though far from perfect, is not in any way like this.

I can only make this understood to you if we have the opportunity and the time for me to tell you and teach you to understand. This is not an easy task; but I’m more than willing. I’m aching for it.

Love

I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through
In that small café
The park across the way
The children’s carousel
The chestnut trees
The wishing well

I’ll be seeing you
In every lovely summer’s day
In everything that’s light and gay
I’ll always think of you that way
I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you