For Rui Boy

Rui (at 4 years old)
– 15 today –

In hopes that I might find you:

When I was fifteen, as you are, I got stuck on this song just as this singer (and guitar player) Molly Tuttle did. She explains that when she first moved from home, she learned that her most precious, loved childhood creature passed away when she was not and could not be there to console herself or him. The critter she mourned then was her dog.

Rui precious boy, in addition to losing his father in 2010 to a ruthless kidnapping and the defiant obfuscation of his history by his trusted family in Japan, the Terauchis, also suffered the loss of his dog a year and a half after he was abducted from the father who loved him, right at the moment he was set to enter a school with children and strangers he did not know whether or not he could trust.

I didn’t know – because I was not allowed to know – about this injury layered on sorrow that a vulnerable boy I loved above all other creatures suffered.

Rui you now have a second cousin, a sweet baby girl named Ellie.
Your grandfather is 92 and wants to see you.
Your aunts, uncles, cousins and your father all want to be reunited with you.

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Singing these songs to you now, because I’m struggling to find words of my own.
Happy 15th birthday to my wandering boy.
If someone would, please point him the direction home.

He went over that high board there when he was five years old
Laughing like a maniac shining in the sun like gold
He was afraid of nothing then
He was loved by everyone
I see it clear as I see you
That day in the sun

I hope he’s warm and I hope he’s dry
And that a stranger’s eye is a friendly eye
And I hope he has someone close by his side
And I hope that he’ll come home

Was a fool with my money
And I lost every dime
And the sun stopped shining
And it rained all the time
It did set me back some
But I made it through
But I’ll never get over losing you

Do you know how much you mean to me?
Should’ve told you ’cause it’s true
I’d get over losing anything
But I’ll never get over losing you

When you’re young
And there’s time
To forget the past
You don’t think that you will
But you do
But I know that I don’t have time enough
And I’ll never get over losing you

I’ve been cold I’ve been hungry
But not for awhile
I guess most of my dreams have come true
With it all here around me
No peace do I find
‘Cause I’ll never get over losing you
No, I’ll never get over losing you

COVID Year
November 16, 2020